Sign of the times

A couple friend of mine has just recently finalised their divorce papers. They are officially divorced. Another newly married friend of mine is having problems with his wife: it appears she is having cold feet AFTER the marriage.

What is this world coming to?

Yesterday in the taxi ride back from KLIA to our house, hubby and I had a fight. It was about various things, many of which relate back to him not spending enough time with me and me not being supportive enough.

All I know is that problems begin not when you are dating but when you are married. Marriage is a contract and a burden of commitment. Call me a pessimist but it's a fact. If both parties are not willing to make the respective commitments or if one party feels the other is not making enough of a commitment, things go downhill from there.

I have never had an optimistic view of marriage. I have seen, heard and known too many marriages that ended in spite, sorrow and tears. And yet I entered into one. I really didn't know what I was getting into. I had a hunch it would not be easy. I was right: it isn't.

And I still don't understand why people get married if they go about hurting each other even more in a marriage. In a sense, it's masochistic. Maybe we are all just selfish to a certain extent: we want to get married for our own specific reasons. We want the other person to belong to us and no other. We want the commitment and assurance. We want, we want.

Wanting is one thing. We start with the want. Doing is another, and that's the hard part.