Tuesday, November 30, 2004

looking in all the wrong places

not that i am. looking, that is. whatever for, i don't know. i think i stopped a long time ago.

the meaning of life is too complex and loaded a concept for me to even begin looking answers for. no point. as is my philosophy. "take it as is goes." a day at a time.

we do only what we can. rules are set left, right and centre. not only are there rules to follow, society frowns upon any that attempt to put even a toe out of line. fuck that. i'd rather die a heretic. at least i'm not a rapist or killer who wears a religious hat. hypocritical bastards!

go, go all ye lambs of the shepherd! it's xmas soon, y'know...even turkeys don't get spared. and the mullahs answer to call to prayer. while on the road shoulder men in uniform lie in wait for "duit raya" from errant motorists.

like i said, hypocritical bastards.

see you in hell.

Friday, November 19, 2004

green food

i've been coerced into stuffing myself with green food. since heading to the chinese doctor for tweaking/massaging for my poor shoulder, i've been told that's not the only thing wrong with me. apparently my internal organs, back, and other various parts of my anatomy are not in very good condition. and since my mother also goes to the same doctor, she's convinced that i need to detoxify with spirulina, psyllium husks, k-salt, flaxseed oil, etc. namely green food.

and since i've been feeling physicallr tired and exhausted these past few weeks, i didn't see the harm in trying out all the stuff she's been trying to push me. so every morning now since yesterday i've been stuffing my throat with concoctions of various green powders with apple cider vinegar, honey and k-salt.

the herbal cleanse thingy with psyllium husks is ok just that it's actually kinda starchy when you mix it with water. the spirulina powder is quite foul as it smells totally fishy, urgh. imagine drinking fish...urgh. however, since all these are touted to drastically improve my health by cleansing and detoxifying my system, i am willing to give it a go.

and of course, there's still the coffee enema that i've yet to try which my mother has been so bowled over by...

Thursday, November 18, 2004

verbal diarrhoea, or the equivalent of...

i used to have diaries. up until university. now i still have diaries but they have remained unwritten in, crisp and clean ever since i bought them. i wonder if they resent me?

the trouble is, it's so much easier writing in a blog online. i'm on the pc most of the time and running my fingers on the keyboard's much easier than picking up a pen. my handwriting's not much to shout about either. again, i hope my crisp, clean diaries do not hate me. i will pick them up again one day. soon. and promise myself that i will not buy anymore until i use at least one of the ones i have in my library.

what's the written equivalent of verbal diarrhoea? i seem to have caught the virus lately.

bla bla bla bla blaaaa...(written of course)

a pal on lomography.com said he doesn't write blogs because there's nothing he's done that would return and haunt him. that's not the reason i write. my notes are reflections on the mundane and the prosaic. an attempt to make light of or poke fun at some of the silly things i do. also of course, to rant and rave when my temper flares. and that's often.

used to be i wrote when i was depressed. you name it: songs, poems, journal entries, etc. you wouldn't want to know about these. heck, i wouldn't want to know about these. i cringe just looking back on some of the stuff i wrote.

ack, gag, gag...

like i said, verbal diarrhoea...

right now there are six guys in the tiny apartment with me, all engrossed in their quest to look for a bunch of masks, sitting around the coffee table. the place looks like a battlefield; d&d books lying all around, miniatures scattered here and there, the stuff that's normally on the coffee table piled in a corner, and more boxes of miniatures standing around. the gamemaster's saying something and everyone's listening intently. one's scratching his head, playing with his hair. the other's mumbling. another's thumbing through his d&d manual. someone's asking questions. boys and their toys.

elsewhere in the apartment, my three cats are asleep. meg on my bed, pixel diagonally across from me on the living room floor, behind the tv cabinet and trixie under the bed. the litter pan has been placed strategically in front of the bedroom door. an earlier incident with trixie and her "present" on my blanket taught us to place the litter pan strategically when the apartment is crowded with guests.

and i am running out of things to say. looks like my verbal diarrhoea is drying up...

bla bla bl...


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