Thursday, May 31, 2007


Thirty-first today,
Frenzy at Baskin Robbins,
Dash for Love Potion.

Mothers and Daughters

The old and the new, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

Dressed in tradition,
Prayers for shichi-go-san,
Mothers and daughters.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

And they're still growing...

"Omigawd!! Your boobs are so huuuuge! I can see your veins!"

"Tell me about it. Didn't yours grow this much when you were pregnant?"

"No, no, they didn't!"

Sigh...I miss my old boobies.

"You know, they won't go back to their old shape."

"I suppose they'll sag?"

"Well, somewhat."



My right leg cramped up again in bed last night. Always happens sometime in the middle of the night or towards the morning when I try to stretch my leg. Almost yelled out in pain. Must remember to refrain from trying to stretch; instead of relieving tension, I end up with a killer cramp.

Managed to withstand the pain and stretch it out without having to wake up the other half. Am getting used to this. I have to; it's not that he will be around for the next two months to assist when I get cramped up again. I doubt that even if he was around I'd be able to jostle him awake.

In any case, self-sufficiency is vital.


The faucet trickles,
Water flows; the sound attracts,
Curious, fat brown cow.

Streamyx: The Story So Far

I walked over to the Clickers shop a few doors away from my office today. I hoped they would be able to help me where the TMNet call centre has failed miserably.

The girls at the counter were very nice, but no, they couldn't help me. The case has to be referred back to the call centre. After I looked harried and explained to them the situation (being pregnant helps, I think because they probably took pity on me), one of the girls asked for my user ID and did a quick check for me.

She managed to dig up the contact number for the contractor/installer who set up Streamyx for me. She told me to give him a call to see if he could help. I was very thankful and told her so; at last, I had a proper person to call and to voice my problems to. I crossed my fingers hoping that the installer had not left his job to do something else since he'd installed the service for me in 2005.

Upon getting up to leave, she told me, "Worse come to worst, I think it's better if you just write in to the papers."

Even their own people know how useless they are.

I called the mobile number even before I'd stepped out the door. The installer picked up and listened to my woes. After asking where I lived and what was the problem, he sighed. "That sounds like a port problem. TMNet have to head over there to fix the port. I've already had three calls this morning. It looks like I'm going to be very busy. Forward me your phone number and I'll do a check for you."

Eureka! Someone's actually going to do something about the darned line and they can tell me that they are going to do something about it instead of throwing out obtuse phrases that don't mean a shit such as, "...we have escalated your case to the highest level and you'll have to wait for an update from the technical team."

Later today I called the installer again. He told me that he'd already given my number to TMNet and they'd take some time to revert to him. "When should I check back with you?" "Give me a call tomorrow evening," he said.

A definite answer and a definite time frame. Wow!! Progress!

I have totally given up hope in the monolithic dinosaur that consider themselves an ICT company. Even their own people have no faith in them and can advice me to go to the press with my woes. And it took an outside third-party to actually do something proactive other than to give me excuses about why they can't fix a simple problem. All they have to do is send someone over to fix the port.

The issue is far from over. I still have to call the installer tomorrow and find out if anything's being done. But at least I'm not being given empty excuses or shunted from one customer service rep to another.


I'll find out tomorrow if they're totally and hopelessly useless. I may consider Maxis as an alternative if they can't solve the blurdy problem.

As if I haven't Bought Enough Baby Stuff

A friend insisted we go baby shopping today. I must say that shopping with someone who's given birth before is so much more fun than going on my own. Lots of advice and tips were given out while we looked for essentials. Here's what I ended up with:

1. Bottle warmer. Great for night feeds when you're too tired to mix in the formula with hot and/or cold water. "Just keep some water in the bottle, make sure it's warm, add in the formula, shake it and your baby's ready to go. It's worth the investment because you can use it until they're two or so."

2. Pacifier. "We tried not using it at all and then not too often. But you never know when you need it."

3. Compartmentalised formula container. "Just pour the formula into the warmed bottle and you're done!"

4. Rubberised baby change mat. "You need this because you never know if or when the baby's gonna pee when you change him/her." Yikes.

5. Non-slip baby mat for tub. "Useful because it helps to keep the baby in position in the tub."

6. Talc container with puff. Self-explanatory.

7. Baby oil. For myself more than the baby, since I bought a really small bottle to begin with and it's running out (didn't expect to use such copious amounts at this late stage).

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

That day

That day, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

Nostalgia...this one got away from the many photos that were taken on our wedding day in Melaka. I think it was taken with Sara's then digital camera, first posted on Sasha's site a while back and I can't remember if I posted it here anytime before.

I like this shot because it's such a candid one among all the "posed" ones that we ended up with. I remember thinking that it was so corny and stiff to have to place my hand on his chest and smile into the camera. That is just so; the whole posing and preening bit.

It was odd.

But this photo is ... one of a kind.

Akad Nikah

Last night...

Sis: I've never been to an akad nikah before. What do I have to wear?

Me: Eh, didn't you go to mine?

Sis: No!! Everyone was there except me. Mee said I didn't need to go.

Me: Eh, but she would have told you about it.

Sis: She said I didn't need to go...

This afternoon...

Me: AL said you told her that she didn't need to go to my akad nikah last time.

Mom: It was a weekday.

Me: Yeah, I remember.

Mom: She asked if it was OK if she didn't go. She said she couldn't take leave. So I told her it's OK if she can't go.

Me: Hmm...

Chi chi

Chi chi, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

The resident cat,
Playmate to fatty Ginger,
Loves rubs and cuddles

Game Night

Five in a circle,
Boardgames on a Monday night:

Human Incubator

"I'm sweating like a pig!"

"You're incubating a baby; practically a walking incubator."


Monday, May 28, 2007

Two cats and a girl

Two cats and a girl, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

When my world turns blue,
My brown cows cuddle closer,
Soft, fuzzy and warm.


Bloated like a fish,
Puffy, spiky puffer fish,
Two more months - can't wait.

Saturday, May 26, 2007


Cornered, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

Alone and forlorn,
In a dark corner I sit,
My dreams dissipate.

Friday, May 25, 2007


Hunter, originally uploaded by Ashkarya.

Deadly and stealthy,
Misunderstood hunter of
The deep blue beyond.


She wears pantaloons,
Sports a clipped ear, loves junk food,
Likes conversation.


Walking in dreams,
A phantom I'd forgotten,
In sleep remains.


Lethal points,
Aimed true, straight for beating heart:
Bleed till death claims you.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

S'pore vs. M'sia : Part II

Hubby received his new toy - a Blackberry - from the new company. It runs on SingTel.

Upon arriving home, he called SingTel to activate the device or to troubleshoot, I forget which. The customer service rep gave him the contact number of a technician and told him that the technician would call him to walk him through, and if said technician doesn't call within 30 minutes, he should call customer service again to report.

SingTel: 15, TMNet: 0

The technician called a few minutes later.

SingTel: 30, TMNet: 0

There were various problems with activating and sending emails via the Blackberry but the point of this story is that for SingTel to actually troubleshoot the device and connection, they'd have to do it via the Maxis platform here, which they did. And throughout the day, there was dialogue and follow up with hubby on status. They not only called but sent test emails to the device.

What has TMNet done for our faulty and non-functioning Streamyx connection so far? Tell me time and again that the case has been 'escalated to the highest level' and refused to give out the direct contact to their technicians.

SingTel: 40, TMNet: 0

I think the Blackberry is working now, am not sure, have not checked with hubby. On the other hand, we're still stuck without a Streamyx connection.

So, compare the both, since they are similar cooperations in that it's SingTel and TMNet. How is it that just across the causeway, customer service and timely response is exemplary while we are languishing here in the muck of mediocrity?

For the whole experience, this is how I'd sum up the score:

Game, set and match to SingTel.


Stillness pays a call,
Silence greets the messenger,
Hope buys a ticket.


Two apostrophes,
Juxtaposed on marbled top,
Sweet punctuation.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


It has to be progress that I am able to somewhat replace, or rather, tame anger and frustration with indifference. At the very least I won't be expanding energy unnecessarily. And gawd only knows I will need whatever energy I can rummage up from now until the day I pop.

I also wouldn't want Sophia to be born a pessimist or a sourpuss. They say emotions pass from mother to baby so my task will be to at least remain indifferent (no feeling is better than bad feelings) if I cannot conjure happy thoughts.

In the meantime, I think I should play more Russell Watson, Andre Bocelli or Mozart on the home stereo/iPod.


Smooth legs now riddled,
With faint blobs of embossed pink,
Emblems in full bloom.


I hear a rustle,
The bag tumbles to the floor,
Paws off my take-out!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Crinkly orange peel,
Insinuates its way up,
My thighs to rear end.

Monday, May 21, 2007

A Cold, Hard Place

These days words and ordinary sentences seem to elude me, hence my foray into haiku. I find it is better I keep my observations and emotions, in short, my writing to precise, measured forms and structure.

Blame it on the pregnancy hormones, or even blame it on a whole host of things happening at the same time. This is the perfect opportunity to prove that the chaos theory really does ring true.

Anything and everything that can happen (especially if it is anything that has to do with the negative) will and does happen at the same time or one after the other.

If I were to really record down the range and depth of what I were feeling, my notebook would be fried from the intensity of what I feel.

But then again, I am getting better at hiding, pretending and portraying that this all means nothing to me. After all, once the invisible barrier is up, and if given enough belief, that invisible shell begins to take on substance and form. By then who knows, it may just be too late to turn back and knock it all down. I may not even want it down.

If becoming a cold, hard rock will take me through, then so be it.

For all I don't see

Go on - press delete,
Keep silent and deceive me,
Take me for a fool.


Bending down to reach,
My shoes I fail to fasten,
Michael helps; thank you.

Hen or Cow?

Perched on sofa's arm,
Paws neatly folded under,
Roosting like a hen.

Bean bag

I sink in comfort,
Beans conforming to my shape,
Then the brown cow leaps.

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Try to hide from me,
I will find you, smoke you out,
Like ants scattering.


Black as a widow,
I promise I will stab you,
Come closer to me.

Best Friends

Head to furry head,
Propped close against each other,
Two brown cows asleep.


Done this weekend in preparation for baby's arrival:

1. Bought bottle brush, disposable diapers and more baby clothes detergent.
2. Laundered cloth diapers and baby clothes.
3. Cleaned out set of unused drawers for baby stuff: diapers, clothes, towels, etc.
4. Received with gratitude baby bathtub and rocker/swing "baby sarong" contraption from parents.
5. Had a healthy meal of fish porridge chock full of dried sotong, scallops, peanuts, ginger and of course, fresh fish (although technically, this has nothing to do with preparation for the baby's arrival).
6. Organised stashing of baby stuff.
7. Watched "Birth Day" on Channel 77 and scared the living daylights out of self.

I reiterate: TMNet is filled with MORONS!

On Saturday I tried calling the number the TMNet customer service rep gave me. Turns out it's an activation line and not the line to the technical team who's handling my case.

I called 9515 again and this time got to speak to a supervisor. Against better judgement and because my temper was on a rage and patience had flown out the door, I ended up cursing and swearing at him. Of course, it isn't entirely the poor guy's fault but if they'd only give me the contact details of the fucking morons who are supposed to be "handling" my case (i.e. the cable contractors, apparently) I wouldn't have to yell expletives at the idiot.

As it was, all he could tell me was the same thing that his customer reps have been telling me every single time that I've called: that they've handed the case over to their technical team and they are looking into it and they will call me when they've got an update. And no, he does not have the contact details of the technical team, all he can do is to email them from his end. And no, he is not allowed to give me the email address of the technical team either.

They will also continue sending me the bill and I will have to pay and if TMNet figures that the problem stems from their end, they will give me a rebate. WHAT. THE. FUCK??!!!!

My first complaint to them was dated 15 April 2007. I have called 9515 on average once or twice a week and I have sent them several email complaints.

If anyone has any better ideas or suggestions, I would gladly welcome them. Short of bombing the whole of TMNet and all their affiliated associates, I would be willing to try almost anything.

Maybe I should take this to the Malay Mail? Do they still post complaints?


Havana Estudio

Enter room aglow,
Mirrors, windows, orange walls -
To salsa haven.

TMNet Imbeciles

Automated noise,
Incompetent imbeciles:
TMNet morons.

Friday, May 18, 2007


The light is fading,
My stomach stages protest,
Work sucks when it piles.

Locked out

Run, run, run; roadblock!
Barrier to my favourite spot,
My bed's lost to me.


Waves form and threaten,
Too late she senses the change,
Together they break.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

F@#k Streamyx and TMNet

In the meantime, the customer service at 1-300-88-9515 succumbed to my demands and gave me another number to call the technical team directly involved in my case. By the way, for those not in the know, my Streamyx is still out.

I've tried calling a few times but everytime I do, I get an automated reply that says I'm either the fourth or the seventh or the eighth customer in line and my wait time is approximately eight or four or one or two minutes. Which inadvertently is always longer than what is announced. Fuck them.

A friend said it's no point getting another number. Apparently what I need to get from them is the technician's handphone number. There are specific technicians assigned to each case, so I suppose mine has been getting his hair weaved or his nose hairs primped for a gala do.

I suppose I could get chatty and intimate enough with him to then blast the living daylights out of the incompetent moron who's supposed to be handling my case.

No harm trying, right?

Like I said, fuck the whole lot of them.

Show Me The Money!!

We paid RM50 for the Astro contactor to chop off a branch from a tree that was blocking our receptor dish. And that's not even a long term solution.

Apparently what we need to do is reposition the dish so that it sits at the highest most point of the building, which is our upper unit neighbour's roof.

Looks like some persuading and negotiations are in order. (Nah, they're really nice people - our neighbours, that is; dunno about Astro or their contractors.)

At play

Deep brown cinnamon,
Crashes into light ginger,
Whoosh! Tumble. Fur flies.

Brown Cows

He coos sweet content,
She wails witty repartee:
Pixel and Trixie.


A few choice morsels
Forgotten at the bottom
Furballs left hungry.


The wind sweeps across,
Dissipates trace, leaves no sign,
Just shadows of doubt.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Belly laughs

Copyright © Cathy Thorne

I stumbled upon this cartoon in my weekly email from How appropriate. For more and similar cartoons by Cathy Thorne, visit


Morning's calm shattered,
Shrill beeping jars still slumber:
Moron's car alarm.


Slowly the bark peels,
Patience slips as time erodes,
Hollow promises.

Rock Garden

Sand snakes around rock,
Still masterpiece by man's hands,
Frozen yet moving.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Pointing the finger

I blame my foray into substandard haikus on Percy Jackson's Apollo, who spouts lame (according to the protagonist) verse in the book. Although I tend to think they border on cool.


In the still of night:
Crash! A scuffling then wailing,
Furballs in stand-off.

Glass Walls

The wind whispers by,
Words, sounds, sensations evade,
Glass walls around me.


Swift like the seasons,
Changing, growing, you tickle.
Soon you will be here.

Red Herring

Far from prying eyes,
A silent blank, trace unknown,
The deception fails.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Rock Bottom

Down and further down,
How far can a person fall?
To darkest nadir.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Week 29

Weight: 60kg
Belly: tight as a drum
Feeling: bloated as a whale

This week's worry after visit to the doc: toxoplasmosis. I could have sworn we mentioned to him that we have cats and even asked him about litter cleaning. I remember him telling Rizal that as long as I don't do litter, am fine.

When he saw me on Tuesday, he noticed the scar on my hand. When I told him it was a cat scratch, his face turned. "You have cats?" Oh dear. Was not good. Started to check my blood test results and realised we didn't test for toxoplasma. And at this point, there is nothing much we can do even if I do test and am found positive. If it were true, it's too late for abortion and the baby would have been infected. Great. So I read up all I could about toxoplasmosis and well, decided to do the test anyway the next day. Let's hope my IgM levels test negative. Fingers crossed.

I can see all of my belly button! It's getting shallower and wider by the day. Some time ago I realised that I really should clean it out before it goes on full view to the rest of world. I noticed a huge black spot in there and try as I might, I couldn't get it to scrub off. All I was doing was making the area around it redder and redder. So I stuck my finger in there and tried a bit of scratching. No luck either. Then I took a closer look; duh. Who in the world gets a mole in their belly button? It had to be me, of course.

Getting into bed, moving around in bed and getting out of bed is getting to be a chore. I have to roll myself onto my side and sort of generally roll up and out of bed. If I want to turn from my left side to the right, I'd have to roll onto my back first, with hands on belly and shift my entire weight from lying on my back to my right, all the while hanging on to the belly so I don't sprain a muscle. Ditto going from right to left.

While lathering the heels of my feet with lotion (did I mention anything about cracked heels? Will not even go there) lying in bed, I realised that the orange peel effect on my thighs are even more pronounced. Another legacy I'll have to live with.

Application of baby oil has also stepped up: all over the belly and now even the boobs. So far so good, no stretch marks in sight. We'll see if that's still the case a few weeks from now.

I'm starting to really waddle now.

I don't know if it's the lack of space in my bodily cavity or just the baby getting bigger. She seems to be moving a lot now. Or rather, I can feel a lot of her movements. She's a little dynamo; moves all the time. After meals, in bed, when I'm on the couch, when I'm sitting at the office, when I'm walking, driving. All. the. time. The movements range from little taps to severe jerks. There're knocks on the side of the belly, staccato raps lower down, sudden prods here and there; I'm running out of descriptions. Sometimes she just bumps faintly while turning, or so I think anyway.

My pelvic floor still feels like I've sat on the exercise bike for too long. I don't suppose that feeling will go away for a while. Maybe even after I explode. Do I really need to remember the years I toiled on those bikes at the gym?

My midnight or rather, wee hour morning cravings are coming back again. Lack of sleep is starting to become an issue. How does one go back to peaceful slumber after eating at 3am or 4am and then wake up refreshed before 7am? I for one, have no clue.

I'm also starting lose my brain cells. Memory loss is becoming more acute and all I can think of after a meal is sleep. I bought a succulent piece of cod while grocery shopping at Cold Storage last night. It cost me a whopping RM20. When I got home, I realised I'd left the cod at the checkout counter. Go figure.

Like I tell my friends, nyanyuk already.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

One for the Gals

Now that I'm preggers and my boobs are humongo-licious, I find that instead of the guys staring at my headlights, the girls are the ones who let their gazes linger longer.

Maybe it's my bump that's caught their attention too?

Or is it just the fact that I look fat to the guys?

I suspect it may be the varicose veins that visibly snake their way across my breasts forming a sort of grotesque ornament especially when shown off in the various spaghetti tops I wear on the weekends.

Thoughts that probably go off in their heads:

"Euw!! She should just put a shawl over those things!"

"Yuck, what could she possibly be thinking, going out in that?!"

"She thinks she's so hot, doesn't she know she's pregnant?"

"Hey, not bad for a pregnant woman."

"I wonder if she realises she's got THREE bulges?"

"I wouldn't wear THAT if I were her."

"I wonder how many months she is?"

What can I say? We women really can be very unkind to our own gender. I should know, after all, I'm one of them too.

Another one for Sophia

Here's another ode to Sophia from budding poet/singer-songwriter, dear friend Eve. This was written after I'd told her that Sophia must have enjoyed the extra flow of blood circulation during my foot massage.

Foot Massage

Tickle me timbre
Tickle me quick
Tickles when she giggles
Iggly, wiggly, hic!
I'll tumble, and she'll mumble
And I guess she's wondering why
But I love it when it tickles

Copyright 2007 © Evelyn Heng

The Slow Ride to the Long Way Down

They say that having kids will deplete your financial resources and probably sink you into the depths of bankruptcy.

How true.

A few weeks ago, we splurged on a Peg Perego stroller + baby car seat combo package. Let's just say I could probably get an iPod Nano and more with the amount we forked over. We have yet to get the breast pumps, bottles, teats and other nursing paraphernalia that we will need later on. Since Rizal will be in Singapore during June, and those items are slightly cheaper across the causeway, we may just wait for the Great Singapore Sale to kick off then before we buy anything related to bottles and teats and pumps.

Just today, we schlepped from one end of 1U - Jusco - to the other end - Parkson - just so we could take advantage of the sales at Parkson for some baby clothes. Not that there was much of a price discount. Would 10% be considered reasonable? We ended up with two pairs of Pigeon brand front-button-down t-shirts with pants and two pairs of booties + mittens, the sum amount of which came up to about RM55. That's just two pairs each. I refrained from buying any other items because I know for a fact that the Parkson at Subang Parade has a 50% discount on some Anakku garments which I could possibly live with putting on my child.

Of course, she will have to alternate between blue and pink items. In this day and age, they still produce items of clothing in stereotypical blue or pink. You'd think that baby garment manufacturers would wise up and just make clothes in multi-gender colours like green or yellow or white. Well, actually they do. It's probably because parents are wising up and buying clothes in these colours that they have to heavily discount the ubiquitous pink and blue items.

So it will be back to Subang Parade to buy a piece each of blue and pink shirts at a bargain RM5 -RM6 per piece. Two for the price of one!!

I am all for bargains. After all, we haven't even gone into the kid's education fund yet. What about further follow-up visits to the paediatrician and other important things in life we will have to spend on her? And the other kids?

God help us all.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Left out of the Loop

"Have you checked in to the hospital yet?"


"Are you in the hospital?"


"Have you left the hospital yet?"

"No...oi! Am not due till end July la!"

"How was I supposed to know? You are supposed to tell your friends about developments like these! I suppose I would have had to find out from someone else AFTER you'd popped."

"Err...sorry. I was going to look you up if I'd driven to Penang as planned over the weekend! Swear!"


Nothing works

It's been more than two weeks now and our Streamyx at home is still busted. An email sent to TMNet's customer service department drew lukewarm response. I am fed up. To get online I either go to Hollys Coffee at Cineleisure Damansara (way quieter and more conducive to writing than Starbucks over at The Curve) or head to Havana Estudio to leech off their Wi-Fi.

To top it off, Astro's dead as well. Has been ever since the satellite signal turned up a bright red on the screen about a week ago.

Everything electronic and IT is turning into a nightmare at my place. Or maybe it just goes to show that a monopoly is the most inefficient way to be running things around here.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

S'pore vs. M'sia

Compare hubby's experience with the S'pore government and that of mine with local Immigration.

Hubby took the bus down to S'pore yesterday and today went to S'pore's Ministry of Manpower to submit his work permit application in the early morning. There were about 40 people in line and he was served in under 20 minutes. He was told to return later before lunch to collect his work permit.


Now go back to my experience with Immigration at D'sara Heights and you tell me why M'sia is lagging behind in so many ways.
Blog Widget by LinkWithin