trudging along, trying to find a path

chicago happened slowly, like a migraine ... from american gods, neil gaiman

that is the mark of a great writer. how the hell do you think of chicago happening slowly like a migraine? how? i'm quite sure that is why gaiman's name is on a plethora of graphic and written novels, attending book signings while i am slogging away here at my job and stealing whatever time i have to write whatever measly meanderings of mine away at this blog.

i used to have a goal: i wanted to write a children's book. i wrote one. for my children's literature class at western. it was a bout a toy stuffed cat and it had something to do with it losing it's voice or something of the sort. i wanted eve to illustrate it. i got as far as getting it read out in the next semester's class. actually, i had no idea my then lecturer had the intention of reading it out to her class. i was conned into going into class to see her, then the next thing i knew, she was reading it out to her class. and i got a critique of the piece from her and her students right there and then. i was quite mortified but i remember receiving positive feedback and pointers on where to improve. i have no idea where i stashed that copy now.

no, i'm more on solid ground now. i know i could never hope to get as good or even half as good as my favourite writers out there: spinelli, e.l. konigsburg, gory, and many more. i know it requires hard work, blood and tears. but the fact of the matter is, i am lazy. i can just imagine myself trying to sit down and write something worthwhile. and getting distracted while i'm at it. or deliberately distracting myself. the scenario would look like this:

me: right, it's about time to get down to business. let's see...think.
twenty minutes later...
me: ok, i've got one sentence. hmm...somehow this doens't look wuite right. i don't think i want it to start this way.
another twenty, thrity minutes later...
me: shit! this is so difficult. how do i make it sound better? crap! urgh...i think i'll just go read spinelli first. get some ideas and come back to it later.
an hour later...
me: oh shit, CSI's coming on, gotta catch this episode. i'll continue with the writing after.


right. like i really will. i've got the attention span of a goldfish and discipline like melting butter. the mind is willing but the body is weak. i could throw in two whole handfuls of other similar phrases, but that's the general idea.

one day, one day i will get my book written. soon, i hope. and i can assure my friends and family that it is gonna be no harry potter.