Pointing The Finger

I've wanted to write this entry for a while now but just never found the time nor the energy to do it but it's something that I feel needs to be written, somewhat like the Britney post.

Malaysia has had its share of child abductions, abuse and murder. Many of these cases have not been solved nor the perpetrators been brought to justice. The same goes for the most recent sexual abuse and murder cases: Nurin Jazlin Jazimin and Preeshena Varshiny. The grief of all parents who have lost their child cannot be measured, we can only guess at the depth of their suffering.

And yet, the authorities presume to compound that grief by slapping the parents with a negligence charge. For a quick fix and for someone to put the blame on because they are unable to find the perpetrator, they conveniently say that the parents are negligent.

What they fail to understand is that it is a problem with society, not the parents per se. What is wrong with allowing your 8 year-old out alone to the market if it's been regularly done? Parents are only negligent if there have been repeated cases of neglect. A one-off case which fatefully resulted in an abduction or murder does not a negligence case make.

What is wrong with our society when we cannot even let our children out of our sight for one second? When there are 'community service announcements' on the radio to remind parents to 'keep your children safe, keep your children alive'? These announcements irritate the hell out of me because it makes the presumption that parents do not know how to look after their kids or do not have their kids' best interests at heart. It annoys me because we as parents have to be fearful for our children's safety because our society is so fucked up that if we are careless for just one second, our children's lives may be in danger. What do they think parents worry about and think about all the time? Do they think we need reminders about how fucked up society is? It is not the parents' fault when a kid goes missing, more often than not, all precaution has been taken. It is society that is to blame.

It is the society that we live in that creates these black holes for our children to fall through. As parents, we do our best to ensure the welfare and safety of our children. We don't go out there deliberately not keeping an eye on them so that they can be taken away, sexually abused and then murdered. It is society that needs to be watched over and corrected; washed out and bleached with mental chlorox, if only it were available. I would readily support the most torturous forms of retribution for these perpetrators because they readily deserve it; those who see fit to abuse and torment innocent lives deserve only the worst form of punishment and should be made to suffer as much, if not more than what the children have suffered.

In Malaysia we are told not to allow our children out of our sight, not to let them wander off alone. Well then, it's Malaysian society that's screwed up, not the parents. And charging parents with negligence is only a short term solution; it's so much easier to put the blame on the parents than to try to fix society.

I remember my visit to Japan a few years back. I saw nursery and elementary school kids walking from home to school by themselves either in groups or in pairs, sometimes alone. Without adult supervision. I couldn't believe it. It was an awesome sight and I was pretty much dumbfounded. I was struck by what a 'safe' socitey it is that parents could let their young children walk alone. It was a sight I'd never see in this godforsaken country. And I remember thinking to myself, "No way will it be safe for me to allow my children to walk unaccompanied no matter the distance or the destination. If they don't get abducted and abused by some sicko, an errant motorist would probably run them down".

That view holds even stronger today. Four long years after taking office and only today our PM realises and acknowledges that our crime rate has increased. Wow. It seems his frequent trips overseas has put some permanent blinkers on his eyes. Of course, the requisite action plans will be put into place to combat this social ill. Election is, after all, around the corner. We'll find a solution to fix the problem all right: set up an action plan, spend a whole load of money unnecessarily and then watch the crime rate skyrocket again. At best, it'll just remain stagnant.

We are a society of quick fix-its. And that is why we are so screwed-up.