Harbouring no romantic notions about parenthood

"A friend told me you shouldn't refer to the baby as a parasite."

"Why not? It is one."

"The baby is intelligent and it's not good to harbour negative feelings about it."

"Well, I agree that it's intelligent but it doesn't necessarily have awareness right now. I certainly can't remember anything of my time in my mother's womb. Heck, I think I can only remember back to when I was one or two. I can't even remember when I first started walking or speaking. And I'd like to think of myself as fairly intelligent."

"..."

"Besides, the kid will be a parasite at least until the day he/she turns 21. Look at me, I'm still a parasite! Look at all the free food and fruits my parents keep dropping into our house and fridge every weekend. And I'm 33!"