Indian going on Malay

I’d almost forgotten about the short bit of news I heard on the radio a few days ago until I stumbled upon Nadia’s friend’s blog: the Indian Muslims in Malaysia want to be classified as Malays.

Can Indians really become Malays? Hang on, but you’d have to be Indian Muslim before you can actually qualify to be classified as Malay. How obtuse does this premise seem? Just for the sake of argument, let’s say I’m Chinese and a practicing Muslim. Does that mean I can apply to change my race to Malay? What would the authorities say about that? If they can open the process to the Indian Muslims, why leave out the Chinese Muslims? (The Chinese Muslim brethren in the country should organize a revolt and also make a bid at trying to change their race.)

Indians trying to become Malays; when I heard it over the radio on the way to work that morning, my eyebrows shot clear off my head and hit the ceiling of my car. I wasn’t aware that changing one’s race is possible. Religion, yes, as that’s a way of life and a choice of belief or faith. But race? Technically, I should think the structure of one’s genes is already predetermined before we exit the womb. If we are born Chinese, we remain Chinese. We may convert from Buddhism to Christianity but I have never for the life of me heard of or known a Chinese becoming an Indian.

Which brings me to wonder, are the Indian Muslims making a bid to become Malay just so they can enjoy the frills of the NEP, replete with silver spoons, ladles, bowls, trays and the like? If there weren’t an NEP, I’d doubt if the Indian Muslims would give a shit about becoming Malay.

And here’s where I think the system is all screwed up (systems are meant to be messed around with, after all): the people who really need or deserve the NEP aren’t receiving the benefits of it. Instead of the underprivileged who get to further their studies on scholarships, I found during my college years that there were more well-to-do children of this datuk or that tan sri who were abusing the system to get out of paying for their education when they could very well do so, complete with flashy sportscar to drive them around in on campus. How times haven’t changed; I hear this is still a typical occurrence.

Anyone who thinks that the NEP is still necessary or doesn’t need reform in this day and age should be shot. And that goes for those in the government as well. Yes, it was necessary during the times right after independence. But it’s now 2005, more than four decades on, and we’re still calling it the NEP. Forty three years and it’s still NEW? Even though every nook and cranny of the business and political environment here is filled with cronies and nouveau rich Malays who have not only amassed their fortunes because of the NEP but dare I say it, also because of a degree of abuse of the NEP. How much more help can a race need? What other excuse could there be for us to have an NEP? Other than the fact that I still some of my less privileged Malay friends out there who have not benefited one iota from the so-called NEP. And in our equal opportunity times, why should one have privileges over another if not because of their own experience, knowledge or skill?

Of course, the status quo CANNOT be rocked or nudged. Heaven forbid that anyone should even suggest we get rid of a redundant and useless tool such as the NEP or even reform it to the extent that ALL races can reap benefits from the NEP, not just one race alone. Who knows, the other races might just take it in their big heads to clamber all over the underprivileged Malays and kick them off of their economic high horse, saddles, britches and all.

I’m not saying that all Malays are dependent on the NEP, far from it. There are those who slog their asses off to get where they are today. However, the NEP hardly makes it easy for those who work their own way to justify to the rest of the races here that they actually DID do it on their own, and not receive handouts from the NEP. It’s bad enough that they are living under a cloak that labels the whole race as a lazy lot. So now the Indian Muslims want to live under that cloak too.

If the Indian Muslims’ bid goes through, some of my Indian friends may find it a tad tedious at explaining their race to a foreigner. Imagine:

Oh, I am actually Malayisan Indian, but because I’m Muslim we decided to change my race to Malay after the government made it legal for us to do so. So I was Indian, but now you can say I’m Malay. We went with the change because of the New Economic Policy where if you are Malay, there are certain privileges allotted to us. So we thought we might as well take advantage of the privilege since it’s available. Not everyone gets to change their race to Malay.

God help us all.