Monday, May 08, 2006

Pinscher bashing

I consider myself an animal lover but I think I’ll have to rescind that claim. One of my neighbours has the most irritating, annoying package of a miniature pinscher that yaps its head off anytime anything that resembles a living mass crawls, walks, trots or skips by their house.

I have never liked that particular yappy breed. This specific sample of a specimen goes to deepen my dislike for the sorry excuse of a dog that it is. Even my cat could squash the pound of flesh on its scrawny chicken legs.

Sunday morning I am rudely jolted awake by an incessant barking from across the road. I fight with my first urge to hurl abuses out the window. I drag my body out of bed to try to figure out what is causing the commotion and to see if I can possibly aim my scissors at the horrible annoyance.

The friendly cream dog that strolls the neighborhood is wagging its tail in the middle of the street outside right in front of the idiot pinscher and not a peep’s coming out of him while his featherweight counterpart is yapping to wake the dead and possibly, God from their Sunday morning sleep.

And then I see yappy’s owner out on the balcony whispering to his tiny tonsil to quiet down. One of those two needs to take a crash course in aggression and I know who isn’t in need of it.

Early morning outbursts aren’t the only things that little yappy loves to share with his neighbours. Outbursts anytime in the day is fine with that little idiot of a dog. God must have been in a very foul mood when he decided to create the miniature pinscher. Why else would he have stuffed a mouse deer with the personality of a cigar-toting mafia who realized what a sorry deal the one upstairs made with him and has been yapping his head off trying to tell the world ever since.

I swear, if I had poisoned meat, I’d make sure that little cockroach ate it, gagged and upped his little tail in the air on it.

Did I mention that I hate miniature pinschers?


4 comments:

Ai Ling said...

It wasn't God who created miniature pinschers. It was humans who tampered with the original pinscher's genes, just like a lot of the other weird breeds u see out there.

Ashkarya said...

it's the stoopidest dog breed out there. i swear i want to stomp on or whack every miniature pinscher i see. there's not one that i've liked, at all!

Ai Ling said...

Haha... go whack those humans who created the breed lar...

Bates Batton said...

This blog put a smile on my face. I live at my GF's house and she's got a Min Pin that's diabetic and blind and never shuts up. I want to kick that piece of s*** so bad. The tiniest noise you make it'll bark non-stop. It pisses and shits everywhere and I hope it dies soon.

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